I listened to a video this week and Dr. Derald
Wing Sue (2011) states, the unintentional and invisible nature of microaggressions
that occur are the perpetrator of a microaggression experience themselves as
good, moral, decent individuals; but it makes it very difficult for them to understand
that, in some way, they have made a statement, engaged in a behavior that has
been offensive and reveals some bias or stereotyping on their part. Therefore,
I feel I have seen firsthand an example of microaggression through my own child
after attending a graduation ceremony. As
we are walking back to the car, my child hears a song playing out of a car that
was on a country station. As we go by
the car, she looks into the car and said, “OMG, he’s black jamming to a country
song.” I looked at her and said, “Why
did you say that?” and she said, “Because this is not typical of a black person
to listen to country music.” I explained
to her, that she has just stereotyped that person because she does not know
what that person’s background is all about.
I also explained, that you can’t say what is typical or not typical
because of the color of that person’s skin either. I have always tried to show my children that
the color of your skins does not tell who you really are as a person and once
the skin is gone, we all have the same color blood, organs, and bones. I hoped that I raised my children too not stereotype
others and they really need to think before they speak because comments like
that could have offended that person listening to country music.
Hi Nina,
ReplyDeleteI think you did a good job explaining what stereotyping is to your daughter. We teach our children what we think is right, but they are still socially conditioned through mass media and interactions with friends and others. It is a wonderful thing that we can choose the genres of music we want to listen to and that no matter what genre, it can be enjoyed by people of all races and ethnicity's.
Great example, thank you for sharing. I agree that you did an excellent job explaining stereotyping. This story reminded me of the first time my son (who was 3 at the time) met a friend of mine at a BBQ. She is from Trinidad, speaks with an accent, and has an almost shaved head. She offered my son a cupcake and he refused to say Thank You to her, which was not like him at all. My husband became very angry, but I took my son aside and asked him why he was being rude. He said that she looks and talks different and he was afraid of her. I told him that she is from a different country and girls there wear their hair very short and they don't speak English (which reminded him of his Best Friend from Japan who did not speak any English when we first met her and her family). I went with him to the house where he thanked my friend for the cupcake, then I apologized to her and told her what my son had said. The next day my son went down to her house when she was sitting outside and had a full conversation with her as if the prior night never happened. When he came home he told me that she is really nice and he was happy I explained her country to him.
ReplyDeleteNina- the stereotyping that you discussed reminded me of the relationship between me and my best friend. I am white and she is black, we refer to each other as vanilla and chocolate. Anyway, we had an instant bond the moment we met and sometimes I truly do not know what I would do without her. We talk about the stereotypes that people use a lot, mostly to gain understanding or we just wonder why people always just assume. Our childen became friends as well and that makes me happy for many reasons, but mainly because I also raised them to know that the color of skin does not make a person, that is just part of who they are.
ReplyDelete